I don't try to be attractive by showing how "stupid" I am.

What are you looking forward to?

Did you get what you wanted?

People keep pretending I am bad and they are good doing whatever they want.

"Effort"

I respect other people's feelings, but people try to advertise the opposite.

Why are people busy trying to justify others?

People think certain differences makes people incompatible.

Germany, France, and America

2015 - Germany


2016 - France

2014 - Germany


2013 - Famous American Actress

People keep acting like I'm the one with a problem.

People think if I can feel ticked off and affected that an older person I look up to has to be tested.

Update

I added my Problems blog, under My Stuff.

People keep throwing ideas at me all of a sudden so I can't think.

cont.

... and it's like it seems to just pile up.

People keep following my thoughts like they know what's better and punish me for it.

People are making me feel like I "took" something and teasing like I don't "have" to have anything.

People keep ruining my life.

Everyone keeps acting like I'm "shit" because an older person was nice to me.

People want me to suffer because I am careful and they are jealous because they are not and it's cool to be and in a lot of ways.

People keep competing to prove I am bad.

I can see it, now.

Things were better, "whatever the reason," before Orlando / Central Florida messed it up.

First, they were racist.

Now, they are questioning my worth and of having had and still having a "relationship" with someone older.

Save for the good ones.

Too Many Questions

Lots of people are famous, and it's my trademark to say how the fame is used.

I'm sorry some people, like Orlando / Central Florida, got like they were drunk and say the type of program I live by doesn't work, when many people are jealous of its function.  This has consumed my life.

On the Other Hand

They made it worse.

cont.

Orlando! / Central Florida! The people's person - no one wants you!  (I don't mean the good ones..)

This is something kind of sensitive and important to me.

I was wondering why, all of a sudden, like, everyone is telling me I'm bad because someone older gave me attention.

I just bought all these dresses in the AM hours, for school at least.

I got 6 dresses and black knee high socks, all for like $180.

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Something Interesting

The people watching me in private always are supposedly quite obese with problems, and it's talked about.

YIKES!!!

If I get at 80% on my Practice Test, I can go back and check my answers on the actual test, next class period.  I got just that.

It's funny when people think they are more attractive than everyone else.

Why do I feel like I'm supposed to say I'm sorry about something, in general, where can I do that?

There's an explanation for everything, I guess...  I still am unsure of what to do.

People ask me questions telepathically, and it makes me uncomfortable and I can get in trouble for other people testing me, like a weak spot, if my reaction is something like that I don't like them.

Through With My Dad

I feel I know him as much as I ever will.

There are ways to hit and feel happy about your family because they have cared about you.

To Sum It Up

I was always good, and I feel comfortable in different ways around different people.

People would never suggest that I get closer to my parents in uncomfortable ways.  Central Florida / Orlando and other places in their "horrible, hopping hindsight" are different.

I know what it is.

They like people who are mean because it feels good at the time.

Why?

Some problems won't be solved, if you're just going through other people's family trees for a long time.

I believe in trying to make things good; I mean, though, who doesn't, not just me.

When will people stop manipulating me?

I get a funny feeling people who "don't matter as much" to me ruin my life if I lose focus and do something that bothers them.

Lies

So, should we forget the hopes of people mattering and just think our family is compatible in a family way?

It's funny when I feel trapped by people like I'm of the parents of the generation before the Baby Boom, like I'm "good enough" for something like that, at least.

I mean that Late Boomers are treated better.

It's been 13 years, and still I didn't get a nicer life like I was bargained for what I had already.

2005 - in trouble for getting sick

2006 - noises outside my dorm and weird classes

2007-2010 - in my room online alone

2011 - living on medicine that makes me tired and life go by fast

2012 - watched Ellen DeGeneres and followed online constantly

2013 - pulled out of college again

2014-2015 - still on medicine and went back to church, only to be excommunicated

2016-present - violin

My Life Being Communicated With Privately Being Watched in Private

I knew since 2005, don't know when they started or how or anything, maybe its nature is just usually on a whim, involving my dad.

I was supposed to do this to have a nice life and know more people, but it's about getting close to people I'm related to in uncomfortable and very undesired ways.  It also ruins the relationships I may have, for no reason.  You know, that sounds like something wrong Germany, in general, does, saying it's been about looking close to your family or relatives before branching out ... but that is not to happen, like that with me.

Popularity Contest

It seems people did something foolish and said I wasn't worth it because of my dad, who is obese and upset with me.

Relatives

They act like they know me well, but they never want to have fun with me and seem short on communication, though I see them loud and about.

Whenever I am having fun with other people, it seems my dad and sometimes others are thinking why don't I just be with them, instead, and I don't like that neither, in that way.

Why do people think I have a problem, all of a sudden?  I have problems at home.

The Central Florida / Orlando area is so demonstrative.

They think if you are not perfect and there's something else weird, like being only 1/2 white, that you're worth nothing.  They will demonstrate for you, like a kid in daycare.