People think if someone is not God that they are bemusedly infantile, people who others "look up to."

"Breaking the Ice"

Some people are interested in people I have on my side, and then the people on my side from before can program the people I'm with now, all of whom are older people I "look up to," if they are older than them.

How can you tell if something is for love and if something is for things like "the money" or greed?

Other people are getting away with it.

Bad Baby Beliefs

People believe since people have made their kids replicate older people I "look up to" or specifically one of them, that "that's it, this person is just a baby and let's molest her."

Other Things That Are in My Way

Is it bad for an American to think they are as clean as Europeans?

People keep acting like I shouldn't have things that are important to me.

They just want to do something important and aren't doing anything else.

Dreadful Dictation

People said no one feel certain extremes in feelings except that the older person I like feels badly suggestively stimulated.

People work an older person I like and say if they are resting it's because they're "the baby."

Why are so many sane good people calm cool and collected?

So, I've been labeled legit, and people who have bad lives just wait to see what I get and take it away.

Did you know..

I actually am focused on my life?

I was gonna nap but guess I passed up that opportunity.

Blowing Up Others's Small Issues

People are blowing up beyond proportion the size of my issues and making them worse.  Another example of being social in ways you are not wanted.

Short people have to act older.

Do people get giddy from being oversized?

That big wild cat sounds big like a lion when she meows.

I don't feel people know well to tell me what to do.

Maybe, I just have short legs from jogging but other parts grew.

So, to get treated like I'm young, I have to seem older?

A Big Wild Cat on TV

I feel hungry like that, too.

Fat

I do kinda look like a good size person, though.

Hight

Staying up late doing homework ruined it.

"What's going on?"

Why are people always thinking of an older person I met I like and me in trouble now for having her come to mind? can I enjoy anything like a normal person?

Am I short or average?

Can round up to 5'4" probably, as my hight when I wake up some of the times, like a little more than 5'3" in different amounts.  I have to be erect.

Do I get any slack for having been a strong girl in gymnastics classes age 1 3/4 - 8?  I know the Olympic gymnasts sometimes grow later, after I stopped growing.

I didn't like my frizzy black hair, but I was cute.  No one cared.  No one was there for me.  I was also manipulated.  Even other darker races.  I think I got a permanent tan, too.  I used to be tall.  We all stopped growing, it seems, though, young.

Do some people give up who they are to be like someone else, and it doesn't work?

Why am I in trouble?  Did I mess up? as a kid.

Mad - What happened to my nails?

They were long as a baby.

They're an easy act.

Just say the word "stupid" and see where it lands.

Those people were already there.

I didn't need these people to ruin it for me.

Why is everyone stealing my relationships?

People seem to be saying an older person I like is individually not okay.  The problem is that those people thinking that are not all that.  They just talk and not do.  They want her to feel badly inappropriately stimulated about this suggestion, rather than be the strong person she has been.

People think that bad people with problems should have an emotional handle on me and that I'm a problem to people who are good?

Isn't it funny I get attention by people acting like an unfavorable thing about their life is me.

My Secret Life

My life seems like a secret fight with my dad, who comes up when I'm trying to relate to others myself as a person, like there are special rules for a good person like me, who wants good things..

It's like, "I know, that's Christina."  I don't like certain kinds of people that much.

Discovery of Something Important

People think they found out I had a "relationship" with someone older I like and thought they were there to say I didn't deserve it.

People used to care about me and say I deserved things, but now they are trying to make the older person I like feel "special" instead in bad ways.

ho hum

I just realized I was not accepted by Germany because my dad's older younger sister's German in laws don't accept me and it was because there are people younger than me who I know who would feel offended if I am accepted.

Science

Would you spend more time researching ancient alien intelligence or enjoying nature and animals?

Update

I added my deviantART to the side of my blog.

People are acting all hysterical like they have to know about my private life to ruin it, you know to do with some of the best things.

Keeps on Going

Do you think I have to worry about the way things are now? regarding certain other people?

I think church is bad, these days, some.

Just because someone isn't as old as your mom does not mean they don't mean a lot to others.

I think I am on a schedule.

Like, my mixed race is being dissected like we're robots.

People are acting like they can be mean to me until they grant me mercy, but I seem to be on a schedule set for failure, though I didn't do anything that bad myself, blamed for my private thoughts they read into.

Why do some people get accepted and others don't?

A Doll

That I am not, unless you mean more the serious still of Chuckie and not a Barbie.

Why do you all examine someone I like who is older than me like she is inconveniently simple, in your opinion?

Violin Schedule - Fall 2018

Violin Lessons
Music Theory III or I
Music Appreciation
Symphonic Band
Jazz Ensemble

If you were still young in school, what would you do?

High School

Year 1
1 - English II
2 - Geometry
3 - Biology
4 - Career Orientation / Civics
5 - PE
6 - Talented Music
7 - audition for Dance Team

Year 2
1 - English III
2 - Algebra II
3 - World History
4 - Chemistry
5 - Talented Music
6 - audition for Dance Team
7 - German

Year 3
1 - English IV
2 - American History
3 - PE / Health
4 - Free Enterprise /
5 - Talented Music
6 - audition for Dance Team
7 - German

Extra Curricular Activities
fall: cross country in the afternoon/evening
winter/spring: jog on my own
year round: drama club @ lunch
year round: church choir


My high school did not have an orchestra, though the community did.  They just have Talented Music, Choir, and Band.

They had German my 2nd year, but I don't even know if it would fit on my schedule like Spanish and I was gonna take French in high school and college.


College - violin & German @ a conservatory of music


Career - violin in orchestra, maybe in Germany

What if people are overrated in being judgmental and say someone older I like is too simple when to me it's amazing but that that's just because they call it "sex?"

I was just posting online focusing on that and was relaxed to be away from people who I felt hurt being around.

Posting online is a bit slow now.

"Must Paaay the Price!" ("Must Pay the Price")

I thought I could handle myself, but people could not handle it.

"The - Story - of - My - Life"

posting online, 2008-2018

Everyone said they don't act on jealousy but that they wanted to ruin what I had because it's not for them.

I Might Not Matter

It's like I'm bad to like someone.

What else is new?

If an older person needs "me time" does not mean someone younger is their parent.

Your Kids Are Our Future?

They mean it big!

What do you do when you're not taking care of kids??

I go to school, I jog, I eat, I turn on the TV, I try to practice enough violin when I get better.

Why?

People said I was a big deal and used it against me.

Why?

People said I wasn't a big deal and then took everything.

My Plans Shattered

I am having a good time doing some things and things I have to do ... but now my plans feel like they fell apart and aren't there.

My Family!

They keep bothering just me.

Story

I was gonna meet some of my dad's older younger sister's in-laws and was struggling with post-diet weight gain.  I wasn't accepted.  They're German, too, and from Southeastern Florida.

Did you know people find it a chance to discover my friends and family and say I'm just shit and lucky to have them make my life what it is?

Are you really happy?

Did you know...

...at home I'm always grumpy, it seems, and I can't refresh to put on an act when I go out?

I had also decided...

...not to let people think they have a handle on me.

How am I supposed to act when very shocked?  Other people don't handle it for them.  I might look a little different.  You wanna know what shocks me??  When people are bemused about me.

On My Own

That would be the ultimate sacrificial answer.

I care about my family, but sometimes I didn't get along.

I have a problem.  I moved to the Orlando / Central Florida area, and it takes me until a problem comes to later solve a silver lining.  So, I get upset and people think they have something on me.

I'm also tired and worn.  At least, I will have a break in August, I think.

At home, I kinda enjoy privacy, following things online, relaxing from the mean and weird people, doing well in school...  I know if one day I have money, I can do something else here.  In theaters, nothing seems to be out that I absolutely feel I have to see.  I was sad my dad asked me and I said no because of this.  It's serious, but I still had a bad day grocery shopping.  I even told my dad he was bothering me because I felt I got in trouble and some of my life ruined.

It has also crossed my mind to wonder how I will get schoolwork done, as much.

Lawst time I went to the movies, I spent a lotta money and didn't have fun.

Mer-monkeys! (like mermaids)

In Indonesia, they go underwater and look watery.

Sometimes, I begin to wonder why some people do weird or strong things for the spying on me in private because I can't see myself in that position.

I'm tired of uneducated guesses others make when they pass judgment on my life.

Things seemed to work out for me.

"Let me reiterate," I'm uninterested in working hard to be in a movie.  I don't want to commit suicide.

Is math a more involved, "hands on" process or sitting there reading hundreds of pages of unrelated illusions?

What about music, why did everyone flock to violin and musical theater?

People have problems with me.  Usually, I'm safe.

I have to suffer a long time.

People keep trying to badly inappropriately stimulate an older person I like.

Being considered white in Orlando / Central Florida doesn't seem worth it because other people don't matter to you.

Someone had a kid, don't hold them guilty to it.  Some people can't be picky.

People keep being mean about how my dad is and pretending I am and have to be like that.

People are actually telling me I don't deserve things and they do.

New Facebook

People keep pretending I'm not good enough and saying I have to put myself out there when no one else does if I want to have anything.