People act like they have something over me.  I'm watching TV, and they "had a moment" when someone looked cool and thought they went deep.

Why can people do this?

It seems like they are just messed up with no hope.

Like, take an issue, like I don't like being bossed around nor feeling awkward.

What if people control the world through me?

A Fun Night

I did that thing on violin where you move the bow back and forth really fast and almost had a pinching heart attack in the middle of orchestra practice.  It may have lasted a minute.

I will be in this orchestra if FAFSA doesn't pay for my school, for music.

I went there I think a year and a half ago.  I feel a bit more tired but better as a violinist.  I guess things are evening out.  I didn't have it in my last time to sit in and watch, taking the bus and getting a ride back from my dad.  I'm worried now I feel less tolerant to rehearsal, whereas before I wasn't as good at violin but could take it better.  That's what I was wondering about going, too, as part of it.  Someone I met bets I will be able to sight read that stuff if I do this this time, like everyone else sight reads it better.  I am only 3 years and intermediate.  It was beneficial to me, better than sitting alone practicing because I need extra "help."  I keep hitting other strings, but this way I didn't notice me doing that, like at lessons.  I might not do the lessons because I want to go my own way, at least for now.  I feel I didn't learn right or it wasn't towards a certain goal, and that can ruin my incentive, I know for sure.

All the bad people from Generation X flood, use, and destroy the good people from Late Boom.

Americans will just rise together and be jealous of anyone who has culture outside of the US.

How will I figure anything out if I'm monitored by the thought police?

I'm going to deal with these things, anyway, later.

Why can't we talk about what's interesting and go on with life?  There's some merit in that.

Fess Up - Now or Never

I'm not holding out for a bunch of people who have nothing to offer, no matter what race or generation they are.

I feel like people are controlling my freedom of speech.

bleh

...but like she needs them

People made it so an older lady I like doesn't need me.

I feel kinda bad just staying home.  Well, I still eat food.  I wonder how other kids get by doing all this work.  Maybe, they are still young.  Part of me wants to go back for something to do, like work.  Who knows...  I guess I might go back.  I don't have much to keep me going.

I don't think I can go back to school.  I'm tired of the sudden semester of summer school.  I took speech and remedial math, which was for 4 credit hours.  I feel like it's the last chug, 1 more day of 2 exams and a speech to give.  There are 3 weeks until the next school semester.  I don't know if I could just go for music or if I should try to teach myself, for now, violin as my newer instrument.  I don't even want a teacher, otherwise, because they don't seem to care about what's important to me, like I can only take it as a joke.

No one cares about me; they're all celebrating.

cont.

Even my dad displays it.

People think if I do something big, it's the grotesque exaggerations of having a dad born as early as 1950.