I realize some people are set for failure, but why me?

Giving up on Life

I think, when I punched a hole in my wall by accident and moreso when I hit my table, I damaged my arms and it's taking a long time to learn violin well now.

I think I might stop violin lessons so I can practice my way.  I'm worried about incentive and feeling uncomfortable with the people monitoring me in private, these days.

The best people are with me is coming out and acting mean, as opposed to pretending like they are nice to me, which they do, too.

I've lost interest in the world.  I don't know why I was into it if this is what's behind it.  They just blame other people or things or say it is too bad and an accident.

I wonder why classical musicians seem so seclusive and pop up over you.  I am sad I wasn't lucky and my school didn't have an orchestra and I didn't know what instrument to play then.  Now, I'm 32 years old.  I almost did it.

It seems like the Spanish people are a member of every race and took over the wonder of racial minorities.  Think of the musical South Pacific, which I saw once and used to see ads for.  Funny, I woke up to see it and was allowed.  I also read Uncle Tom's Cabin in one day and got the only A in the gifted/AP class at age 15.

Do you ever get made fun of for wanting to be a good person?

Update

I replaced my forum and made a new one: Internet Networking.

They do things they know are wrong.

Wait Until It's Too Late

People push for that logic.

Existing Problem

I get startled when surprised and sometimes get upset and a little mean in how I act.

Why is everything so stupid?

Upset

I don't have a college degree and therefore wanted job at age 32.  I still have 4 semesters left.  It's been hard.  I think I have an A in math, but it was certainly the result of some diligent efforts and work.  Speech has been an easy B.  So far only 1 semester lately, this summer, these 2 courses, math and speech.  I just have to keep going.  Here's the plan:

Fall 2018
-Violin
-Music Ensemble
-Music Theory
-Math
-English II

Spring 2019
-Violin
-Music Ensemble
-Music Theory
-Math
-Science

Summer 2019
-Science
-General Studies Requirement

Fall 2019
-General Studies Classes

I will have an AA in Violin Performance, in 1 1/2 years

I also want to take German, but I have to go to another community college for that.

So, what?  Yea, I should be happy.  Maybe, school can be frustrating to my life if done late.

What if I didn't have long nails starting out?

Not all pianists have short nails, at least if they just play for fun.

I feel like my parents wish I would leave, but I feel threatened about how I will be treated then.

I even ended up pulling out from college because of what a professor I thought I was good said and what other professors said after that, somehow.

All I can say is, though built well, I was probably frail but not lanky.

It's like I let it out and that was all I had.  I felt some pressure from my friends to be shorter, but I even moved away then.

My classmates were considered short, and I was short to them.

Actually, just the year prior, my growth was in the tall range.

I think I may have stopped growing at the beginning of 7th grade.  I grew again when I was 20-present; I started catching up on rest and was out of school for a long time.

Why did I stop growing at age 12?