cont.

I was so good, but just like that and other things that weren't mean to specific people outside of my family.  It all happened after moving to Orlando, mostly.  It's a hard place to function in, with people trying to Florida-tize themselves and always acting like you're a "nigger."

People seem to like to make up excuses.

They probably give good people a hard time ... as an excuse to talk about something and as an opportunity to feel more emotion.  However, you can see history...

I guess my problems is worse.  I spammed some people advice they seemed to need and wrote to some people upset.  I sensed they were all racist and I was trapped socially.  Tangled, Frozen.  Those movies look like the people who wouldn't write back and therefore drove me crazy, etc.  I feel so ignored.

It seems like cultures like Eastern Europeans get mean to people who Germans like, like mixed Asians.

Why are innocent people considered guilty when something is amiss?

cont.

It feels almost just like going to college and getting in the voice program on the side and finding the "real voice majors" started singing in high school and I started, in choir, at age 8.  They sounded weird trying to mimic tacky opera singers, sorta the way you felt about it when you were a kid.

"Jumping on the Bandwagon"

People are "jumping on the bandwagon" "at the last minute," and I'm losing out, possibly, as my life is how it is, in certain ways.

Did people always find older adults loving and appreciable? or want to? or did you already find out-

I guess they are caught up in the world and don't really say much but want to be cool, like they were caught up in self and exterior hypnosis.

It's not so much I want to ask for anything, but I get into situations, and-  I just dislike what life has to be and has been, in some parts, people getting in my way in different, specific aspects of life.

Actresses

I like people like

Catherine O'Hara
(link)

Julia Roberts
(link)

Meryl Streep
(link)

Jennifer Garner
(link)

I don't want to be "the one," like people ask everyone.

That said...

Remember people were mad Johnny Depp became famous for things like Willy Wonka and Pirates?  Tim Burton, if you know, was also great and married and had kids with someone nice but not his type, as they separated anyway.

People acted like they got attention some one person who's from Generation X should have gotten.  It was such a big deal, the jealousy too, that the world was ruined forever.

What an older lady I like does is not for all of you; it's for herself, in general, like other people.

I wonder why some people, like in the Orlando / Central Florida area, think something was wrong with my relationship.

Whizzing Through School

I read the chapters for the speech test, 3 yesterday and 5 today, though the book is like the size of half a textbook.  Now, I need to look at the notes and study guide, maybe later on reread the chapters, again.  The test is Thursday.  The next/last speech is the next Thursday.  Math is going good, and so is the new music Education class.  They will all be over I think at the end of July.

"Less Talking, More Doing" & Guess what I found out / realized ...

The goal is to have an attractive personal living area.

I was flipping through my planner and came across December and thought of winter celebrations.  It would be nice to have a spacious inhabiting area with a nice "paint job" and things in their places, not too cluttered but interesting.

My room is decorated for Miami Beach.  I wonder if I can clear the clutter.  What if I made my room cream with burgundy borders and some nice decoration to go  with it, like gold.  I've got to rearrange my room.  This is something I can do when summer school is out and fall school has not begun.

I don't really know how I can arrange my room, nicely.  Well, I can take out some bags of trash and do my laundry.  I can announce to my dad my new plans.

I have some furniture issues, too.

Don't worry, me looking more maternal than childish is not something you have to do.

Cats

This is probably with a live pit orchestra.  I miss those days.



The Jellicle Ball starts at 8:43.  It's in New Jersey, US.

Gypsy

This reminds me of when I did little theater, for some reason, except I didn't pursue acting.

In one video, the one with Bette Midler, the little girl in it did a combination of spinning batons and dancing and possibly in others people throw in gymnastics, not sure if this movie had any.  That reminds me of my interests as a child, doing gymnastics.  I got in ballet at 5, and I wanted to do baton at school age 7 and 8 and ended up rising to the top of the children and was Twirler of the Year at 8.

"A Chorus Line" Dance and Singing

Imagine what real classical musicians think of this.  Rather funky, tacky, and "out there."  I would focus more on the dance.  It seems like the musician reflects the musical instrument.  People who are there for what's basically more standard yet still emotional might chose violin.



This is a new favorite!

Who had to "open their big mouth?"

Supposedly, it's some "gifted" or overly obvious thing to notice I'm "not all that," like, "I mean, look!"  "Make sure an older lady Christina likes stuff from us like she needs us like that and get into Christina's personal life and begin to interrogate; ..I think she feels something!  Let's turn her into 'a case.'"

I don't feel like doing anything because my parents are around.

I thought things were okay, without me.

I don't matter.