Oh, and me realizing all this is a supposed temporary relief, like it's back to hiding.  I feel kidnapped, shut away for years and years.  Aren't you supposed to live without all this being knocked into a certain place?  I think I just need to unwind from the me accidentally saying "nigger" online about someone when I was harassed racially.  I didn't know how bad it was and was in a fight.  Depends on who...  My parents started being disapproving to me around then.  2009.