My schools gave stupid busywork and let the bad people socialize instead of us making use of the school time, in different ways in different schools or classes.  Everyone was just okay with this like nothing happened.  I fell behind when I was called to the counselor during classes, too, in high school, just for seeming lonely to one of my teachers.

So, why did people affect this?  I'm unwanted like Hillary Clinton.  This is really none of their business.  They are eliminating by luck.  Why can't anyone co-exist?  Is this about intentions or fate?  Like, I'm worried because in gymnastics I fell on the ground from standing by the foam pit, when I was 8 years old, though nothing happened that I knew of because I was so skinny from starting gymnastics at age 1 3/4 etc.  Do I deserve to suffer because I'm not just "used" but emotionally tortured to some degree or something.  Also, I ended up staying up late doing homework as of age 11.

If someone older I like is already famous but "ready" to be really famous by knowing me ... it sounds like the plan for them is sad.

This lady has had a "relationship" with me but became exploited to where it was like some of it became blocked in a denied way.  She didn't want it, but other people can just make it happen.


I just found it interesting and don't find and mean offense, to her.  If she is happier with what's more rightfully hers is fine.

cont.

The funny thing is I'm very well-behaved, and they aren't.

Everyone thought they had to be mean to me to be safe, like I'm in trouble with my dad.

Why are people making more problems?

It's awkward to say this, but an older lady was interested in me and my fame and how hard life was for me, and people said they "had" to make this lady have more problems being famous so I can't "get" that.

People don't like to interact with me so they can say I'm not all that.

They have a lot to offer themselves, and it is right to be nice to people; otherwise, is not in good fashion.

Why are we told to exult Late Boomers?  What do they do?  We get a little sometimes unpleasant buzz, maybe in general, at least.  Why are times so bad?

Ay Ay Ay

I just have to clean my office space!

Math homework and test.  So far, I haven't wasted it.

I think some people have to sit and watch someone who performs not because we need to learn from that person but because that person is having a moment but for a long time, not trying to say it in some bad way.  It's also not basically who you'd think it is.  So, we have to stifle our own voice and ability to function, one way or another.  I was prevented from having a good time and "relationship" with someone else because of this person, partially, in the end, I think, because that person was against it, and they are both older.

cont.

I didn't get what I wanted, in a way, and some people are still fighting it off, not sure who but maybe people I know.

People think instead of me having a relationship with someone that they can be like a part of family or a party, to ruin it.

I do agree that if someone is attractive, they can be famous ... but I didn't see the steps happen appropriately anyway.  They didn't say they wanted to but know people can do it for them.

Patrolling

Why are people always wondering if someone from Generation X is treated like a Late Boomer is or if a Late Boomer is their parent?

Because I threw a water bottle on the ground, not only can someone not have a certain kind of "relationship" with me which isn't up to me, but people think I am a bad person and they can be mean to me.  They are racist to me, too.  I was outside, and people were all bothering me around me and no one cared.  Sure, the police could have caught me and not have cared what I said about the way people got away with acting and bothering me, like being attacked by everyone like that at any given moment is okay.  I've called the non-emergency police before about these things, before, alone in my room sometimes.

I feel like a criminal in prison and for some reason I'm like a ghost there because they're still studying my case.

I'm not too worried.

People are fighting me if I get attention from Late Boomers, like they didn't really do it.

They're sure!

that I'm bad in this.

It seems people are snapping at me for getting attention from an older lady but pushing into eternity the situation they have messing around with her and making it so no one else matters, unless maybe I died.

People think they can say anything because they don't really mean it.

Well!

Well!  Some people have been very nice to me, giving me attention, and what should I do... buy them a cake?  I don't know if I can.

A lot of people go to big schools where you don't feel like you're with the same people all your life.

People think I'm bad.. it might be because of weird reasons like if I have a pimple, for skipping one of two showers a day, for an example.

Why get into intensive things of the nature I've been talking with people who have it together already?

Nobody needs people to "test" older people who like me.

Some people I have to deal with are just treating me stupidly.

It's like nobody likes me.  Why should I care about some people?

Why don't I figure?

Why is it okay for people to obsess over someone older I know instead?

It seems that we're due some more down time.

I'm am a "source."

I'm young in the 90's!

I might not be a mountain or a planet, but I am cool.

Who cares?

I don't really trust people.

I don't overly obsess, but other people are up to no good and it is a worry.

I guess it would be tragic to realize I was in the right, here, and so make it like there's a problem with other people I know, elsewhere, Orlando's fancy little dramas.  I actually know they err'ed out, but it's hard to keep tabs.

No hard feelings to anyone else's feelings! and not trying to involve certain people.

Did Orlando start worrying about things you don't have to worry about?

cont.

...like if you're wondering why you lost it.

For Active Anti-Racists

Black men always know everything, when something calls for it.

Did you know I'm moving into finals week?

I am interested in Asian and African American / black babies.

Ahh!

I just cleaned a bunch of my room and rearranged a little.  I just have to tackle the table and guess it's off to life!  Quite a lot of laundry.

Who in their right mind finds joy in being emotionally deficient, in bad ways?

I thought they were already happy, hence their success and continuing like other normal people to prosper and be happy.

Game?

So, how many famous Late Boomers do you know, famous without being on screen?

Any of them cute?  Hope they are all happy!

People think because I got something socially, I deserve to get it taken away but others are still happy and aren't lied about that they are bad for feeling uncomfortable around weird people being mean to them.

All this will hurt me, people thinking it doesn't matter if I am like other people.  Like, it's that I am not as good as a normal person.  They think it doesn't matter because normal people have their own problems, but in the end I see them coming out on top and me being dropped from the top to the bottom.  I am done; I am an adult.  There is no such thing as that we are all innocent and, therefore, if someone is down, it takes the town to sorta worsen themselves to make the other people seem better ... nor to focus more on bad people, as though they are good, and to try to make the good people seem bad because you think everyone should be equal and that this is how it goes, socially.  If someone "makes it" socially, they get "rewarded," in my book, and they live their life themselves getting better and not having people set them up to act defensive and seem worse than others and lied about in how they are socially, to bring them down like they really deserve that for reasons I mentioned.

I'm not trying to get mad at certain people, but I notice that things are happening like this.  This was harder to type up than some of the other things I have said.

Supposedly, I "didn't make it" as a normal person, according to Central Floridians.

People are obsessing themselves trying to get rid of me knowing someone.  I'm losing focus on if it's more normal people starting it or the people watching me in private.

I keep getting pushed to lose it.  I don't even have to think about people I like all the time.

People want to "bring out the worst in" me.

I don't have negative feelings towards everyone.

I'm tired of old ladies going around acting like it's only about Late Boomer women.  They get "all up in my face" and watch out for me.

Anyone interested in this/me...?

I generally am ahead in culture, but sometimes I feel cut off by racism.  Anyway, I find some cool older people, like at least as old as my mom, who also have a handle on things, who are good a lot like me and know things I can find out.

It should be okay...

I'm still on top of a lot of people.  I'm on top of most of them, other than some important things like living up north and being skinnier.

Since it seems we are going into things for discussion and sorting sake...

I used to be protected "on top" of things.  Now, I'm generally as a person an option.

My Magical, Musical Fingers

They might have made me good at piano and organ.

Are short nails a good thing??

Mine I accidentally cut too short as a kid, the ring finger nails.

Well, good night.

Sorry to anyone I offended by accident.

So, I got to have fun at the expense that I be offered something more fun and be mistreated for thinking it was true, and I don't know if anything is true.

People think I'm just a button to push and want to keep me from communicating with people who I like who like me, especially if they are older.

They give some people too much attention.

I'm feeling a bit better now.

Not much left of school!  Of course, 'make these classes good ones.

Why are people so weird?  Like, they don't admit things, and they want everything upfront.  I'm having trouble with this, like because.. well, it's not right and I don't see it turning out okay easily.  I'm proud to be a good and normal person, too.  It's something that makes me me.

Some people are so perverted.

Some people are such a heard of sheep.

"Christina is nothing.  She took a break from college."

What if I'm not interested in some people.

I don't have rights and I'm not having fun in this as of 2005.

It's like no one cares about me now.  I still can be happy how I am.  I'm just tired and guessing why.  I am frequently dissatisfied with how things are going, where they're headed.

Everyone wants to hurt me to "play it safe."

I keep being told in hard times I am bad.

The person I like who is older used to be a strong person, and now the world has made them possibly succumb.

Do you think she is really having fun?  Why do I have to "worry" about her so much and not just care?

I can't lead a happy life.  I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing.  I can't be happy with my family.  It's so hard to be together like this, in this day and age.

The world should not be at my relationship.  I am already worried, I mean.

People have faith things will be okay.

People are acting like I'm not as good, suddenly.

They are feeding off me and others are getting inappropriate things, instead.

I'm feeling sad I can't know someone I keep being told I can, on the other hand.  She knows other people, maybe..  I'm sad because of the contradictions but do like her.

I feel like people are feeding off me.

Is anything wrong, at all, that matters?

I'm being emotionally abused.  It's racism.

Things are still looking down.  Everything must be left off on a negative note.

I plan to move to Freiburg, Germany, so I can attend more concerts by the orchestra I follow online.  I want to live in another country.  I am calling to ask for help and probably get a job and learn violin.

I just am worried about someone.

"Okay, cards on the table!"

Why are some people acting like they want to talk to me and then not?  I assumed no.  I assume not even a little just to take from my life.

The people monitoring me in private find problems that aren't there!

I'm feeling glum, like people simply collectively think I am wrong.

The people monitoring me in private or involved keep acting superstitious about the regularity and temperament of and associations with my private thoughts.  I get in huge trouble when the explanation is already clear!  Even if I am sorry, I get shot down for being sorry or thinking I can make a departure from being there because I'm still involved and it's up to them.  People keep getting mad at suggestions I make that I don't and it worries me because I'm considerate of some people.  What's more, I'm tested about my opinions when I feel bad.  I don't want to be mad or really argue.  I don't think like a robot and feel like I want to retract.  People are taunting me like I forced someone older to talk to me somehow.  They worry me because I think she is being treated like things don't matter and some could be sneakily bad for her.  They have weird connotations.  They care about only themselves.  They think if a fact combines with another fact I don't mean and I didn't mean it's bad.  Since living in Orlando etc., I think off and I don't mean to single out people in my thoughts.  I keep being told I can't have a peaceful life, and it's been like so long or my whole life and everyone is jealous of my accomplishments.

I'm not worth loving, but I don't want to end up in trouble.

I wish I would move to Freiburg, Germany so I can watch the performances.  I could sit in an orchestra, but I don't think I will try to meet them after each time.  It seems like a chance to grab.  I'm trying to circulate in the music world, it seems.  I really like their orchestra, so far.

I don't know why people are so mad I can be stimulated alone.

You can tell I detest much of how lame Central Florida can be.  Some of it is just messed up.

I know I was dropped by potential relations.  We're all eliminating some people... why not realize how dreary Central Florida is and me find something worth "sacrificing" for, in some way.

I want to move to Germany, but I don't know if I should learn German before.  I kinda wanna live at home, but if I knew German would go now.  I could always come back.

I kinda miss George Bush.

I don't know who, but they are really interested in this.

I am happy for someone, but don't kindle my problems so that they become real, big problems that make the person and others unhappy.

Freiburger Barockorchester

link

And why does each and every one of us play with such passion in this run? "Because we just can not help it. You can not lean back with us - not even in the rehearsal, "explains the violinist Petra Müllejans, who is one of the founding members. "Because of this unconditional expression, we have become musicians! Probably we were like that when we were kids and luckily we found this valve. "

This sound adventure began more than thirty years agoin the atmosphere of the Freiburg University of Music: "There was really the much-cited New Year's Eve in 1985, when some students from Rainer Kussmaul and Ulrich Koch met to make music on baroque instruments and gut strings," says Petra Müllejans. The orchestra's longtime artistic director, who passed on her office together with Gottfried von der Goltz to Kristian Bezuidenhout last summer, tells of grassroots structures, boundless rehearsals and a great idealism that has lasted until today. "The early years were not easy. One was laughed at. The city of Freiburg initially had little interest in this free formation. Financially, everyone had to keep afloat with other engagements or instrumental lessons."

Does everyone get a turn?

Why are people fascinated with critiquing me? like saying things everyone knows? things that don't apply? things that may be impossible in today's ways?

Me in 2012

Now, how do you feel about my singing?

Piano Songs I Like That Make the World Go 'Round

I like when black people play this.

When I Was in Pit Orchestra in High School

Whenever I am, I learn the whole story.  I didn't post A Midsummer Night's Dream because it was a play with music added, like in between mostly.  I was credited with vocals and was in Talented Music and Talented Theater, but it was a senior play.  So, here are 4 clips from 2 musicals.

Happiness from You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown

The Doctor Is In from You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown

Comedy Tonight - A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum


Free - A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

People in Central Florida are acting like something oh just happened to look innocent.