Music

Music

2005


2016

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Music

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2005


I'm with L.A.

Music

1969


1980

Me

2016

Music

1992


1983

Music

1989


1997/1998


1989 - Finnish


2014 - Georgia, Southeastern US


The Voice Kids - Australia - 2014

I'm failing.

I can't see how I'm worth it.


I'm not going crazy.  I wonder how much I could be worth to anyone, peculiarly here in Central Florida.

Guard Dogs

It seems like Southern Europeans and Near Easterners are just the guard dogs of more Northern Europe.

So, are people saying, "Okay, Christina made a mistake.  Can we sacrifice her and believe everyone else whatever they do is right knowing what Christina did was all that's wrong and it's like we're just in Heaven forever now? except for Christina."

Maybe, you want to be able to do some things, to know you can, but not to do it for certain people.

Organ

I'm sad I lost my organ skills, but I still have some.

I have a certain connection to people who are more "old-fashioned" and are more rigid, uptight, and pompous, in a good way, something I share that I'm excited with them.  People all try to change that and make fun of it, like they're generous being a "people person," like they got something done, like it's their business.

I think people are really overly excited about people who are Late Boomers or have Late Boomer parents regarding being "naughty," in general.

Sometimes, I wonder if I am subconsciously guilty, like people are getting me out of the way.

Why are people in turmoil over maybe some younger people with Late Boom parents?  Some people just keep it a problem and don't directly address it.  Others...  They are counting on it to be a problem.  Sometimes, people hide who some people's parents are, but you know they are Late Boomers; yet, they over analyze you suddenly saying you aren't as good if they find fault in your parents but not you.

Changes

It seems that I can't schedule my feelings in private nor relate to others privately, but it "sucks" too anyway.

Racial Responsibility

People are acting shocked if mixed people of the more Northern European race mixed with Spanish or Italian or other Southern European or mixed European subraces are worried about being discriminated against socially, like if people will have a social exchange with you, without looking down on you racially.  It was the same with Eurasians.

As a hapa or Eurasian, I see Southern Europeans as white Europeans.  I even see Middle Easterners as Caucasians.  They look white and act white and have fair features.  Black people look very different.  It seems that having black skin is the dividing feature.  Arabs can look European, for instance, just with dark hair and sometimes white skin.  Blacks have the most problems passing as white.  Other races can get by.  However, Asians are like Northern Europeans in their own way in that they are not as rough.  They seem different racially, but I'm focusing on racial mixes.  I haven't met too many Eurasians who seem happy, though.

Here's a half Russian half Chinese, guess she looks happy for a Eurasian and whiter than the others.  I saw another half Russian half Chinese who looked more European.

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I've felt discrimination for not being mostly 1/2 German or something, myself.  The ancestry tests all gave me different results.  It looks pretty funny, I have a pretty good Asian mom, and I see all these hot, younger-looking guys with Asian wives who look like they have more problems physically.  I know Filipinos have European culture to a degree from the Spanish, which actually Asians are older than Southern Europeans as a race.  Maybe, most of my mom's line has a lot of Dutch influence from Indonesia for hundreds of years.  My dad was into martial arts as an adult, but I don't know if we are that compatible.  Ever since we moved to Central Florida, he's been onto me, and I have to stay away.  He used to not be as rough about his race and acted like he liked Asian things, philosophically, though no one made him be that way.  It's funny when people act like I'm not as white as my parents.  That's messed up.  People in Central Florida are like that.  They don't really think that, but they figure it to be that way, consistently I feel.  Actually, I feel others think so, too.

"Let Bygones Be Bygones"

A ballet song by an orchestra from Minnesota in the "Midwest" of the US was on.  I met someone from Minnesota.

It seems that doing ballet is a lot of concentration for some people.  I wonder what happens when other things begin to look more attractive.

I was thinking of doing something like acting or musical theater, but I think classical music is better.  I don't know what people do to get in Hollywood, but it doesn't look easy to be content.

Bella Thorne was pretty good, but she seems to be under the radar.  She is born in 1997 in the same county I'm originally from.

Bella Thorne - 2014
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