Germans are lucky.  They are the source European country.  They don't seem like outlaws.

I am good, and they underhandedly tell me I'm not good anyway, and, if something social happens, I'm out.

I can act because I know how to talk.  It isn't a discovery for me to say something in English.

Some people seem to be getting away with ruining my life or being mean to me.

Do you know how serious I am mad at people in general making me feel ashamed of myself too much?

It doesn't seem to matter how I am sexually affected but "what" that I am.

Things like Japan seeming better or Scandinavian will always be in the way.  I know Scandinavians are upset Germans come from Norway and Norway and maybe other Scandinavian countries come from Germany.  I think I got that from Wikipedia.  A real source didn't say about that, as far as I know.

In case you didn't notice, the world kind changed.  People of  German etc. descent may be resting all the time, while I'm up worrying.

I feel I should be able to be both fully.  I have strong traits from both.  Why would Germans talk to Scandinavians? or Russians?

Asians are the most hated - wait - are they considered people?

I am actually European and Asian.  I can't see myself as just Asian.  It wouldn't be me, in many ways.

I wonder if church doesn't want me.  It looks like a bad influence.  I don't plan to attend now.  I'm on summer break from college.  I'll take 3 courses in the fall and spring and 2 more in the summer to graduate that summer, 2019.  Next semester is English II, College Algebra, and Introduction to Humanities.  One class to attend each day M-F.

I might do this thing where you can watch 3 movies a week for $20 a month for at least 3 months.

I cleaned most all of my room. I have a few things setting on some boxes and my bathroom stuff to clean.

It's people monitoring my relationship and not knowing what to do after that, too.

I feel like my life is being followed, like I can't get by behaving how I chose.  I'm not getting some things out of this.