I know that I keep getting in more trouble until I can't be punished anymore in ways.  I mean, I'm especially pointing out my problem that hopefully is or gets better.  I do have a question that people feel ways I can't I need to do other things to feel, which isn't necessarily all that bad for others but so for myself.  It seems that I can't avoid it if I think of certain things, which I guess anyone watching porn would be a similar situation.  I dislike it, though, and have since.