Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Well, it did happen, and she was already famous underground.
In what ways can life be about pain?

My College - "Way to Go!"

People always thought I was smart.
(concerning roping off a realistic problem)

or you can be innovative and go ballistic
Okay, so, now, I'm just wondering if the older lady I like isn't as much of a relationship, what with me seeming in trouble and all for no reason otherwise, because she was exploited, 2 birds in one stone.  I realize life is life and if it was worse maybe there would be a solution.  Do people like this better in their subconscious questioning?  It's funny maybe she's likable by all, like as far as what she looks like and how she acts goes etc.  I mean, sometimes I thought everyone liked me when I was younger, but they didn't want to be me and look like me.

I've seen it.

People sense they will have a problem and rope out a collective solution for everybody, working together.
I wonder if Suzuki is so cute because it's for people who don't learn as easily.

Update

I added another online forum: KMC.
I don't mean anything bad to the older lady I like, unlike a lot of people.
Some people keep acting like I am in trouble.
The people monitoring me in private are being mean to me pretending I was bad, how they translated my blog, to be safe.
Too many comment-less pictures and quotes on Facebook.
I can't say anything.  People just take it too seriously, and it confuses me in some ways.
They keep acting like it's about inappropriately stimulating an older lady I like.
Here's the joke.  They made me not feel as much so I would not stimulate myself,  watching the older lady I like feel too much inappropriately.
I was excited about something important and fundamental, but they ruined it.
Why can't young people today ever have it good?
They're selfishly making the older lady I like not care about me.
I hear cars outside bargaining with the older lady I like, like they are provoked.   They keep saying because she is so nice to me she should stop and be inappropriately stimulated.
I think someone craves giving the older lady I like a feeling where she is stupid and rebounds and says she's cool and this is the life.
They want to prove the older lady I like I can't look up to.
I hear the cars outside.  They are biding time and acting like the older lady I like is especially emotionally challenged, doing  things to her that were done to me just to care but to her in this way, acting like she needs to review and test out problems, personally.
The people monitoring me in private are mad I'm fed up with anything to do with the care of the older lady I like because of them messing around like I'm in trouble or it's nothing.
I want to be on good friendly terms with the people monitoring me in private, but sometimes I wonder if they did it.
My life can be permeated with the private waste pathetically worrying every day about how the older lady I like is now because I care about how the people involved monitoring me in private are to her because of someone being ditzy acting like this is real and another person I liked saying like what does it look like, etc.; they can't buy it's a game for any reason and pretend something is real they don't know.  They want to do something to seem important.
My dad said I should chose the instrument I like the sound of best when he cornered me after starting piano lessons.  Well, later, I found I already liked the violin, but it's not because of how it sounds, itself alone.  How was I to know or even know now, with all this pressure.  I noticed, by and large, the piano wasn't a standard classical musical instrument.  I felt like I didn't even know real music.

The band teacher tried to recruit me, but I would have joined school group music only if there was an orchestra, per chance.  I was upset there wasn't.  I was already in piano and busy, and I wasn't actually ready to join a professional youth orchestra.  See, in school, you can start as a beginner in band or orchestra and probably still perform.
They are acting like they are inappropriately stimulating the older lady I like and making it so I can't feel about things, like I'm desensitized.  They are tacky and evil and it's stupid, doing it like a ceremony, like I'm bad and in trouble.  They think they are all professional.  They shouldn't actually be involved.  They feel important here.  They are surrounding the older lady I like like she is "special" in that way.  They have nothing to offer.
Did you know some people dedicate their life to fighting crime, in comfort.
I guess they are just fooling around with me in trouble.  👿
So, things are under control.

YouTube

2009

I'm fine with this.  😈
What pisses me off is when most people taking charge don't get basic facts and review them with me over and over and over and over, like my feelings about this issue not being put together in a way they can identify/recognize so they can  talk about other things.
They just took to her by storm, but they left me in the dust.
...and she feels uncomfortable because hers is different where people try to inappropriately stimulate her and keep me from talking to her in the way she did before, seems even more like a baby how she is presented other than everyone tapping into her looks somehow to prove they are indeed white
...because it makes her uncomfortable, like I'm worthless, because she is underground famous now but because it happened all at once.
I know what else upsets me.  My underground fame part of my life means nothing to the older lady I like for now.  Why is underground fame important?
Most people are ugly.
...and I when I say I already can tell, I know me.
What are people building up to?
But I already know I look ugly.
What is this, fantasy football and I'm losing?
Man, I was supposed to be in bed.  I had to eat, with the fantasy my heart could stop if not.

A Political Affair

Something upset me in my Problems blog that is kind of interesting:

They are having an older lady I like making her out like she's prancing around being inappropriately stimulated in her eyes while...

I was told my eyes are like nothing, not my own but that of another and then that my dad said to "come" with that in mind.


Changed for Good
Did you know someone voucher-ed her underground fame should be continued and celebrated as a good thing just  because it looked like it wouldn't stop?  My supposed heroism in underground fame stops, but I lose my relationship with this lady in some ways in the process, like there can be found reasons I am no good to her very much now, with things changing like this.  It's not something to speak of by others but a part of life.  Originally, she does not beg for fame and she still is my relationship; she gets it anyway.  I'm having some hardship.  I don't know what it is or who wants to talk about it!  People think I am bad for cursing on my blog about hurtful, illegal noises put in my room.  Other things have been in focus.

Ditzy
Now, I've had bad feelings when I get dizzy about her coming up in ways that are pretended to be a certain way.  No hard feelings for real, though.  I wonder what the big deal is when she is in la la land by others and I am in Hell by contrast, like that's all this dopey life has as possible.  What if it is?  I'm trying to fight it off, as the outside is still stupid.  There's much to take advantage of if you can "keep your wits about you."

I am not mad at her, but it comes in little wisps because people pretend to be her.  I wonder about how I suck more than most people.
I feel my life is sacrificed for her by others.
I wonder why people invite me just to act like I did something to get attention.
I wonder who she has.  She's getting older.
I don't have to be with her but wish she were okay and as safe as anyone.
Who can she speak to or see?
Wait, before I was in the right with the older lady I like.  I didn't really do anything that bad to her.
So, the people monitoring me in private are a mystery but not all there.
People keep acting like I'm a joke and get mad at me.
It seems like sometimes the older lady I like wants me not to feel good about my underground fame but hers.  I think she's backed by a lot of people really doing it.
The people monitoring me in private won't let me live my life.  I make a statement and they ruin some of the most important things to me, like the relationship with the older lady.

Update

Twitter profile and color layout
Why do people act like Ellen DeGeneres is on patrol?  I know she's gay and can act forward but not let other people be themselves, like I don't take that from other people where they can act rough and tough and leave me in the dirt like I can't be rough and tough back because with normal people I am, but Ellen is cool in my book like most people though I disagree with her on things in how she acts because of some things about where we're from the same area.
I went to the mall today.

Why not go to a different one tomorrow?
It's already washed and hanging to dry ready to wear!  I even have matching pants I switched to this shirt and have enough for what it's worth.
Oh, and I bought it for $11.
I found a shirt in style that seemed to be placed haphazardly like it was returned that fit.

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

I think Ellen DeGeneres is intimidating, but she doesn't intimidate me.  I respect her as a public icon.
People involved monitoring me in private here are making a big deal of me finding a good relationship and bothering me.
I'm sorry however you thought I felt about the new Germany.
I want to live there, but I don't think it's that I'd be in Sweden.
You can live there, but you don't know what it is.
Why are all my ancestry tests different?
You like Germany but not me?  Middle Easterners are all nice to me, it seems, but I mean people in general of any race.
Muslims can live there, but it's not what you think.  It's white.  Sometimes, Sweden is not considered as white as Germany, so if you still miss your old culture they might like you there.

WWI+II

First, I don't believe in killing.

Why do people get so attached to Germany who don't even do classical music?  I think you're confusing it for Sweden and Finland.
An older lady I like is "up" socially and people go fully through to her.
*No hard feelings on my friend.
Why were the English so trashy?  They were interested in mean people.  K thanks bye.  Anyway, they might have turned a new leaf or tried the alter ego to what they were.  I have feelings for that.  How is the country doing?
Did Germany find out I like German and look to the US to see if it was Germany?
I'm enemies of people who keep acting like I'm bad.  They're stupid.
Germans really are bad.
The people monitoring me in private are acting crazy and so are others, that, if an older lady I like seems good to me, they find out and say isn't she too good for you?
So, the people monitoring me in private are sick if they like this.
Has the world been replaced, by others?
The people monitoring me in private are suppressing my freedom of speech.  They are lying about what I really mean.
So, people agree no one amounts to anything.
The world has nothing.
Expect nothing, again.
It's true.  Germany is nothing.
My dad made me short with blackheads at 11.
I'm immune to weirdo Germans thinking they are better when they clearly aren't better off nor as a person.  No, they just know they are German.   Anyway, just don't talk to those ones? while they still like others anyway.  Most seem insecure.
The people monitoring me in private were just acting silly because they didn't know what to do about something about it.  Hm...
So, Germany is no better than the US to other people, why it's gone?
I wanted to move to Europe, but everyone hates me anyway so who cares about them?

An old friend won Germany but also things in it that were important to me, and they tried to copy her like she has flaws.

*No hard feelings on my friend.
I can start College Algebra early.
People are settling on the idea that I'm the package deal to steal from.  Anything I get that totals my present life they send off to someone else, for sport.  They know I'm good and will get rewarded.  I have some people who can't approve of me all the time, too, though.
I'm told things are okay, but I might be well alone in the present situation.  What should I do?  I mean, people are telling me lonely things.
Why do they keep manipulating my social status?
Why should I care about some people?  They are bad.
The people monitoring me in private like to just flat out disapprove of me, you know, to look good.
I'm so happy I'm doing laundry, time for movies soon!
I've been picked on for 5-6 years for complaining but also cursing on my blog about hurtful, illegal noises in my room.  People didn't say anything because it was done as a group.   People were onto me before, too.   If I talk about it, the people involved monitoring me in private get upset.  This is like being kidnapped.  I don't feel freedom nor comfort, like others.  I feel picked on for being a good person.  Who knows who takes what I post here personally.  I'm just saying, it's ridiculous.  I have too much of problems, at times.  It's become my life, all these things to do with someone.  The people monitoring me in private don't care what they do, like they are cute being mean to me.  If I did something wrong by accident, they won't leave me alone and act racist, while others are learning good things about themselves racially.  They are acting like I can't post this, being weird.  I don't have freedom of speech, and I just wanted to tell some people I have issues I can't resolve with the people monitoring me in private.

I used to be offered strange things, and it's like they took it back or think I don't matter and others do.

They get off and do it again, saying they aren't serious.

If I want to feel good, they act like I'm asking something they offered before more.

I'm stuck here with the people monitoring me in private interjecting throughout my day.

There are a lot of nice and intelligent people out there.
When I post my problems, I know the people monitoring me in private read it and it gets worse or more boring.
I want to go out, but I need my mom first.

I want to sign up for the movie deal.   I need new clothes, facial cleanser, and a new CD player, can't afford it all plus eating fast food when I watch the movie.
Everyone keeps thinking to others that my actions speak louder than words.

They think I am rotting in bed for no good reason, when I'm tired from going back to school in the summer and anticipating the fall semester with 3 classes at a community college.

If I get stimulated, they think it's just to say something.

I wanted to do more.  I have to do my laundry and may do the 3 movie a week thing, maybe not that often though.  Hm, I at least need to iron my new outfits first.  I wonder if I will get tired at the movies.  I take the bus there, too.  I wanted to try Dave & Buster's; it's like an adult Chuck E. Cheese's.  I'd like to eat out and get more clothes.  I can do the movie thing while I'm in school, too.