It seems like it's just me learning to cope more and more with dealing with annoying people.
It seems the drama is coming merely from a dwindling supply of conflicts.
I'm not having fun coping with traits I inherited. See, I used to be accepted as a person. Suddenly, the world has lashed out on me. I don't think "the magic" was there to grow on me because of a combination of factors, my generation, my mixed race being an issue for some people to accept... I was good, but for some reason it still didn't work out. I've been versed in things like going out of your way and leadership, too. I'm also safe as far as looks are concerned and am adamant about things to do with looking good, passion, etc. Where did I go wrong that I'm in social danger here in Orlando? I know most people are scared, so maybe that's why. There are too many mean people here, and most are more poor, supposedly, maybe unruly.
I hope with my fame that maybe some kids will have someone they can confide in someday who stood the test. I keep holding out in some things, hoping some kids will catch on to the magic we can still experience. Kids aren't too young, and "real adults" aren't too old. We were all young once, and we all grow older and wiser.
Some people want me to confide in them, but to be blunt sometimes I don't want to with some people or don't want to take my time or succumb from my beliefs. I do not believe I am to confide in anything. I am used to church and being surrounded by confiding in God.
I am interested in people being happy and helping them, even if life has failed them in some ways.
It's strange to think of confiding in anyone, in a certain way. I can't trust some of them, even if they have it together seemingly like many. I wonder if I could confide in someone else famous. Most people seem to shy away from that. Anyway, it wasn't always the way to look at things. I used to confide in some things that made me feel better, but I am too traumatized, like an abused animal. I'm working towards being independent but still care about some people, like my nuclear family. I don't know how much they "take to" me.
I feel I developed in funny ways.
I pray for other people to fix their lives so they don't ruin mine.
I used to function, but now I feel I am hard pressed to believe that because I used to cry out on the inside and some as a kid on the outside about wanting older siblings so badly that now I should act like people actually feel sudden discomfort about the idea of letting me confide in them like a parent since they probably are one. I care very much to show respect for people who invite me to relate to them like that.
I am concerned about people who don't network online and don't have good relationships. People are so stubborn on Facebook to open up. It's like following a map to buried treasure.
I greatly appreciate the people, for whatever reason of their own, monitoring me in private and involved.
It's nice to see when other people do meet each other. It's fun to see anyone get along or network socially. There's a strange emptiness here in Orlando, though, these days.
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