Why don't I figure?

Why is it okay for people to obsess over someone older I know instead?

It seems that we're due some more down time.

I'm am a "source."

I'm young in the 90's!

I might not be a mountain or a planet, but I am cool.

Who cares?

I don't really trust people.

I don't overly obsess, but other people are up to no good and it is a worry.

I guess it would be tragic to realize I was in the right, here, and so make it like there's a problem with other people I know, elsewhere, Orlando's fancy little dramas.  I actually know they err'ed out, but it's hard to keep tabs.

No hard feelings to anyone else's feelings! and not trying to involve certain people.

Did Orlando start worrying about things you don't have to worry about?

cont.

...like if you're wondering why you lost it.

For Active Anti-Racists

Black men always know everything, when something calls for it.

Did you know I'm moving into finals week?

I am interested in Asian and African American / black babies.

Ahh!

I just cleaned a bunch of my room and rearranged a little.  I just have to tackle the table and guess it's off to life!  Quite a lot of laundry.

Who in their right mind finds joy in being emotionally deficient, in bad ways?

I thought they were already happy, hence their success and continuing like other normal people to prosper and be happy.

Game?

So, how many famous Late Boomers do you know, famous without being on screen?

Any of them cute?  Hope they are all happy!

People think because I got something socially, I deserve to get it taken away but others are still happy and aren't lied about that they are bad for feeling uncomfortable around weird people being mean to them.

All this will hurt me, people thinking it doesn't matter if I am like other people.  Like, it's that I am not as good as a normal person.  They think it doesn't matter because normal people have their own problems, but in the end I see them coming out on top and me being dropped from the top to the bottom.  I am done; I am an adult.  There is no such thing as that we are all innocent and, therefore, if someone is down, it takes the town to sorta worsen themselves to make the other people seem better ... nor to focus more on bad people, as though they are good, and to try to make the good people seem bad because you think everyone should be equal and that this is how it goes, socially.  If someone "makes it" socially, they get "rewarded," in my book, and they live their life themselves getting better and not having people set them up to act defensive and seem worse than others and lied about in how they are socially, to bring them down like they really deserve that for reasons I mentioned.

I'm not trying to get mad at certain people, but I notice that things are happening like this.  This was harder to type up than some of the other things I have said.

Supposedly, I "didn't make it" as a normal person, according to Central Floridians.

People are obsessing themselves trying to get rid of me knowing someone.  I'm losing focus on if it's more normal people starting it or the people watching me in private.

I keep getting pushed to lose it.  I don't even have to think about people I like all the time.

People want to "bring out the worst in" me.

I don't have negative feelings towards everyone.

I'm tired of old ladies going around acting like it's only about Late Boomer women.  They get "all up in my face" and watch out for me.

Anyone interested in this/me...?

I generally am ahead in culture, but sometimes I feel cut off by racism.  Anyway, I find some cool older people, like at least as old as my mom, who also have a handle on things, who are good a lot like me and know things I can find out.

It should be okay...

I'm still on top of a lot of people.  I'm on top of most of them, other than some important things like living up north and being skinnier.

Since it seems we are going into things for discussion and sorting sake...

I used to be protected "on top" of things.  Now, I'm generally as a person an option.

My Magical, Musical Fingers

They might have made me good at piano and organ.

Are short nails a good thing??

Mine I accidentally cut too short as a kid, the ring finger nails.

Well, good night.

Sorry to anyone I offended by accident.

So, I got to have fun at the expense that I be offered something more fun and be mistreated for thinking it was true, and I don't know if anything is true.

People think I'm just a button to push and want to keep me from communicating with people who I like who like me, especially if they are older.

They give some people too much attention.

I'm feeling a bit better now.

Not much left of school!  Of course, 'make these classes good ones.

Why are people so weird?  Like, they don't admit things, and they want everything upfront.  I'm having trouble with this, like because.. well, it's not right and I don't see it turning out okay easily.  I'm proud to be a good and normal person, too.  It's something that makes me me.

Some people are so perverted.

Some people are such a heard of sheep.

"Christina is nothing.  She took a break from college."

What if I'm not interested in some people.

I don't have rights and I'm not having fun in this as of 2005.

It's like no one cares about me now.  I still can be happy how I am.  I'm just tired and guessing why.  I am frequently dissatisfied with how things are going, where they're headed.

Everyone wants to hurt me to "play it safe."

I keep being told in hard times I am bad.

The person I like who is older used to be a strong person, and now the world has made them possibly succumb.

Do you think she is really having fun?  Why do I have to "worry" about her so much and not just care?

I can't lead a happy life.  I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing.  I can't be happy with my family.  It's so hard to be together like this, in this day and age.

The world should not be at my relationship.  I am already worried, I mean.

People have faith things will be okay.

People are acting like I'm not as good, suddenly.

They are feeding off me and others are getting inappropriate things, instead.

I'm feeling sad I can't know someone I keep being told I can, on the other hand.  She knows other people, maybe..  I'm sad because of the contradictions but do like her.

I feel like people are feeding off me.

Is anything wrong, at all, that matters?

I'm being emotionally abused.  It's racism.

Things are still looking down.  Everything must be left off on a negative note.

I plan to move to Freiburg, Germany, so I can attend more concerts by the orchestra I follow online.  I want to live in another country.  I am calling to ask for help and probably get a job and learn violin.

I just am worried about someone.

"Okay, cards on the table!"

Why are some people acting like they want to talk to me and then not?  I assumed no.  I assume not even a little just to take from my life.

The people monitoring me in private find problems that aren't there!

I'm feeling glum, like people simply collectively think I am wrong.

The people monitoring me in private or involved keep acting superstitious about the regularity and temperament of and associations with my private thoughts.  I get in huge trouble when the explanation is already clear!  Even if I am sorry, I get shot down for being sorry or thinking I can make a departure from being there because I'm still involved and it's up to them.  People keep getting mad at suggestions I make that I don't and it worries me because I'm considerate of some people.  What's more, I'm tested about my opinions when I feel bad.  I don't want to be mad or really argue.  I don't think like a robot and feel like I want to retract.  People are taunting me like I forced someone older to talk to me somehow.  They worry me because I think she is being treated like things don't matter and some could be sneakily bad for her.  They have weird connotations.  They care about only themselves.  They think if a fact combines with another fact I don't mean and I didn't mean it's bad.  Since living in Orlando etc., I think off and I don't mean to single out people in my thoughts.  I keep being told I can't have a peaceful life, and it's been like so long or my whole life and everyone is jealous of my accomplishments.

I'm not worth loving, but I don't want to end up in trouble.

I wish I would move to Freiburg, Germany so I can watch the performances.  I could sit in an orchestra, but I don't think I will try to meet them after each time.  It seems like a chance to grab.  I'm trying to circulate in the music world, it seems.  I really like their orchestra, so far.

I don't know why people are so mad I can be stimulated alone.

You can tell I detest much of how lame Central Florida can be.  Some of it is just messed up.

I know I was dropped by potential relations.  We're all eliminating some people... why not realize how dreary Central Florida is and me find something worth "sacrificing" for, in some way.

I want to move to Germany, but I don't know if I should learn German before.  I kinda wanna live at home, but if I knew German would go now.  I could always come back.

I kinda miss George Bush.

I don't know who, but they are really interested in this.

I am happy for someone, but don't kindle my problems so that they become real, big problems that make the person and others unhappy.

Freiburger Barockorchester

link

And why does each and every one of us play with such passion in this run? "Because we just can not help it. You can not lean back with us - not even in the rehearsal, "explains the violinist Petra Müllejans, who is one of the founding members. "Because of this unconditional expression, we have become musicians! Probably we were like that when we were kids and luckily we found this valve. "

This sound adventure began more than thirty years agoin the atmosphere of the Freiburg University of Music: "There was really the much-cited New Year's Eve in 1985, when some students from Rainer Kussmaul and Ulrich Koch met to make music on baroque instruments and gut strings," says Petra Müllejans. The orchestra's longtime artistic director, who passed on her office together with Gottfried von der Goltz to Kristian Bezuidenhout last summer, tells of grassroots structures, boundless rehearsals and a great idealism that has lasted until today. "The early years were not easy. One was laughed at. The city of Freiburg initially had little interest in this free formation. Financially, everyone had to keep afloat with other engagements or instrumental lessons."

Does everyone get a turn?

Why are people fascinated with critiquing me? like saying things everyone knows? things that don't apply? things that may be impossible in today's ways?

Me in 2012

Now, how do you feel about my singing?

Piano Songs I Like That Make the World Go 'Round

I like when black people play this.

When I Was in Pit Orchestra in High School

Whenever I am, I learn the whole story.  I didn't post A Midsummer Night's Dream because it was a play with music added, like in between mostly.  I was credited with vocals and was in Talented Music and Talented Theater, but it was a senior play.  So, here are 4 clips from 2 musicals.

Happiness from You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown

The Doctor Is In from You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown

Comedy Tonight - A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum


Free - A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

People in Central Florida are acting like something oh just happened to look innocent.

I think people question me, *at length, and want to overcome me, like I'm holding in negativity.

*at length - 1. in detail, fully. 2. after a long time. (link)

Could you come up to me and say I'm not perfect and that's why I am having problems?

Am I so imperfect that anyone can be mean to me however they want?  It seems like the way people go.

Did you notice older people don't need younger people and don't care about anything because of it but can still be okay or "on top?"

People dare to tell me mean things because of problems.  Oh well, most people are caught up but not all involved..  However, it affected my life.  I have problems every day, and I don't know what I do wrong on purpose more than others.  It seems like it's just to pass time, though, or maybe something expensive that doesn't work, in certain ways.  How do you go from being good to this like it's okay but can seem insecure?

Why did things work out for me, before?  I don't need some of these people.  Didn't they set us up for something and take it away, for no good reason?  These are just annoying people, up to no good.

Also, it seems a heavy price to pay for a good job for some people, saying if they groove with life like what matters simply doesn't matter anymore is all we need to say to the world and that's it and we can't seem to get along.  Certain generations have certain important issues.

cont.

It's just a plus for them.

It must be nice to get the best of how things are, also that which people actually prize which for them is unattainable.  Hey, it's a way to make Christina feel the opposite bad, so why not these people do this?  I think I'd need to check a few things.  They literally found a way to abandon me.  I said people didn't have to do this.  I just didn't want the important things in my life ruined!

Well, I hope the older lady I like is happy.

..Oh, so you can do it, flip what's mine to someone else.

Why is everyone so bothersome!

Pretty much, they want to take it away because some of it gets worse.

They keep finding bad reasons to be mad at me.

I've been informed an older lady I like has a "problem," wherein I was trying to separate myself from certain problems and was forced to remain alert because I technically have the relationship, just not like before in certain ways.  That's "what" they said.  Why should I believe it?  They are hiding information, like it and they are important, in this way.

Those damn, certain Central Floridians.

People are obsessing over an older lady I like to feel badly, inappropriately, and extremely stimulated and claim me feeling anything means I should be forgotten and have my older personal relationships ruined.

For some reason, I can't go on knowing someone without being emotionally abused by others who claim it was her.

Everyone keeps trying to badly and inappropriately stimulate and change her for the worse.

all the time

Well, they're just bad not doing anything because they give me a bad time no matter what.

People keep acting like I'm bad forever.

cont.

I was so good, but just like that and other things that weren't mean to specific people outside of my family.  It all happened after moving to Orlando, mostly.  It's a hard place to function in, with people trying to Florida-tize themselves and always acting like you're a "nigger."

People seem to like to make up excuses.

They probably give good people a hard time ... as an excuse to talk about something and as an opportunity to feel more emotion.  However, you can see history...

I guess my problems is worse.  I spammed some people advice they seemed to need and wrote to some people upset.  I sensed they were all racist and I was trapped socially.  Tangled, Frozen.  Those movies look like the people who wouldn't write back and therefore drove me crazy, etc.  I feel so ignored.

It seems like cultures like Eastern Europeans get mean to people who Germans like, like mixed Asians.

Why are innocent people considered guilty when something is amiss?

cont.

It feels almost just like going to college and getting in the voice program on the side and finding the "real voice majors" started singing in high school and I started, in choir, at age 8.  They sounded weird trying to mimic tacky opera singers, sorta the way you felt about it when you were a kid.

"Jumping on the Bandwagon"

People are "jumping on the bandwagon" "at the last minute," and I'm losing out, possibly, as my life is how it is, in certain ways.

Did people always find older adults loving and appreciable? or want to? or did you already find out-

I guess they are caught up in the world and don't really say much but want to be cool, like they were caught up in self and exterior hypnosis.

It's not so much I want to ask for anything, but I get into situations, and-  I just dislike what life has to be and has been, in some parts, people getting in my way in different, specific aspects of life.

Actresses

I like people like

Catherine O'Hara
(link)

Julia Roberts
(link)

Meryl Streep
(link)

Jennifer Garner
(link)

I don't want to be "the one," like people ask everyone.

That said...

Remember people were mad Johnny Depp became famous for things like Willy Wonka and Pirates?  Tim Burton, if you know, was also great and married and had kids with someone nice but not his type, as they separated anyway.

People acted like they got attention some one person who's from Generation X should have gotten.  It was such a big deal, the jealousy too, that the world was ruined forever.

What an older lady I like does is not for all of you; it's for herself, in general, like other people.